David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Michael Bay diarrhea
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize