In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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