Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
