Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
