I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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