Porn is love you can see.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Randomize
