never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
