OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
