Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
