if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We got so high we made milksteak
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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