just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I need moral support for this bender
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
