It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
