i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
