Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize