This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
