did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
