I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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