I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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