So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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