I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
