you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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