I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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