Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
