How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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