I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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