so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
