his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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