i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
