SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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