i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
