I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
