I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
they need to just BURY HIM!
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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