i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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