Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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