Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
