I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
