She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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