I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
