I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
