Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
