He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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