think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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