i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
