I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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