Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize