Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
