THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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