I have demons in me.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
