is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
this just has baby written all over it
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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