I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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