Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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