Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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