there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
