I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
