Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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