I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
