today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
